I look at things with this weird, slightly twisted point of view. I give decor advice all the time to friends who ask me, but they don’t always appreciate it….go figure! LOL! For instance, when I was asked what to do with a house that they found tired and boring, but didn’t have the money to redecorate, I got the feeling she didn’t appreciate my advice of using Marriage Counseling principals. Stay with me for a minute…… she used phrases like, “we’ve invested a lot in the house and we don’t want to move on”, and “we just don’t find it attractive anymore”, and “so and so’s house is gorgeous and so put together” or what about this one “it was perfect when we moved in, but I guess I’ve just outgrown it”. COME ON! Marriage Counseling for your house was the perfect solution! Still don’t get it? Let me break it down for you.
One of the worst things you can do is to compare what you’ve got going on with someone else. It’s an exercise sure to lead to frustration and huge Pinterest Boards. Comparing your home to a magazine worthy layout leads to dissatisfaction with what you have, but it can also leads to depression, confusion and sometimes straying from style to style. Do you have the means to either buy a new home or totally makeover the one you’ve got? If your answer is no, then you need to fall in love with your home all over again. And that takes some work, inspiration and creativity.
Your first step needs to be to sit down in a room and take a good long look at it, and then listen. What is the room trying to tell you? Has its functioned changed? Has it gone from a busy family room to a second living room? Do you still need furniture for homework, game nights or large meals? Has your home become an Empty Nest and you’re totally lost on how to function as a couple retreat? Or has the reverse happened? What do you really need the room to do? Note the things that you still love about the room and then make a list of the things that can or should be changed. Make a pro/con list and commit to making the changes that are needed to reignite that spark.
Then learn the difference between appreciating someone else’s style but loving your own! Look for inspiration not emulation. In other words, it’s okay to look, we all do it and having home fantasies is natural and healthy, just keep your hands to yourself and remember it’s your house you go home every night, not theirs! It’s time to wake up to reality and get to work on saving your home relationship!
Keep Up Appearances
We’ve all been there, time passes and you can find yourself putting less and less effort into appearances. You know, all those convenient life habits we all fall into. If you want to bring back the spark, you might have to shave those legs and take your hair out of that pony tail…..or in this case, dust, fluff, organize and vacuum. Sometimes you just need to remind yourself how beautiful your room really is…when you can see it again anyway. Maybe it’s time to stop taking it for granted and remember that it’s good for something other than the place where large unused toys go to die. Change out those yoga pants, (aka throw pillows, curtains and rugs) with something that makes you feel badass pretty. Besides, for most of us, yoga pants (again, aka throw pillows etc) are less than sexy as we and they get older. Or maybe it’s time for a weekend retreat…..just you and your room, a gallon of paint, a staple gun and some trim and after two days, you’ll come away with a whole new appreciation of your room.
Give Some Ground
As time passes you change…..your attitude, interests, dreams and goals, so why keep that room in the same old, same old. If you feel like you just don’t have anything in common with your decor anymore, find some common ground! Go shopping in your own home, pull things from other rooms and reorganize them into a new vignettes, and bam….it’s new again. Look at your stuff with a fresh eye and an open mind.
This isn’t the time to be stubborn and sit on your high horse, you may have to compromise if you want to see positive results. Furniture that doesn’t make you happy anymore, but can’t be replaced….can be updated with paint! Take on some projects to make the room fresh and interesting again!
Attitude is Key
Above all, change your attitude. Be grateful that you have a home and the means to change or maintain it. Stop taking what you have for granted, and come to the realization that you’re actually very lucky! When you appreciate what you have, things look much better to you. Besides a positive attitude brings positive results. So remember why you fell in love with your home in the first place and cherish the memories you’ve built together, while acknowledging the changes you’ve gone through that brought you to today. Appreciate your home’s little quirks and challenges and embrace the knowledge that perfection is not only nearly impossible to achieve but can be really boring to live with. That’s it! Our time has run out, I’ll see you next week!