I practiced in anticipation of this event. I thought I was ready, but then it happened. Chloe, our beautiful 7-year old asked me, “Is lying a bad thing.” And I froze.
“YES!” should be the immediate response, right? It’s not that simple. Once adults become involved we like to exam and twist things up until what was simple is barely recognizable. So, I asked her, “what do you think?”. Chloe looked at me and said, “lying hurts people, you shouldn’t hurt people.” I kissed my baby Buddha and told her she was very wise, smarter than most adults. And I wasn’t lying.
Isn’t it funny that we spend so much time telling children that lying is wrong, but then as adults, we spend so much time lying? And we accept it. Our politicians lie, journalism isn’t held to a high standard anymore, we lie at work, we lie online, we lie to ourselves. And everyone moves on without looking at the damage that is left behind. Broken dreams, broken promises, broken lives. So maybe it’s time to go back to our childhoods where lying was a simple thing, it hurts people.
Lying Takes You Nowhere
I don’t know maybe lying takes you places, you might climb the ladder, but at what cost to yourself and your family? You might make friends, but are those friendships trustworthy and loyal? You might have instant gratification, but then you have to live a lie.
And sometimes I think the worst lies are the ones that we tell ourselves. “I’m happy at this size,” “I can’t do that because my spouse won’t let me,” “this isn’t my fault,” “he deserved that,” “I don’t care.” You know better than I what lies you tell yourself. But the reality is, you control your life. While others may influence your decisions because it impacts them as well, you still have the final say concerning your actions, behavior, attitude, and integrity. You and you only.
Let The Truth Set You Free
Facing your truths are hard. But if you can learn to look at them, take ownership and stop lying, you will be much happier. I’m not going to tell you that you have to change your truths, just admit them to yourself. You can’t divert all your problems onto someone else, and it’s time to face your accountability for your life. Ok, so you’re overweight, are you happy? If you are, great! Wallow in it, strut that stuff and forget what others say. If you’re not, do something!
Lies and fear. They will keep you swirling the drain if you let them. Don’t be afraid of the truth, because once you’ve called it out, then you can begin to deal with it. I can’t promise a happy outcome; I can tell you that living with truth allows you to move forward with a plan that has a higher possibility of results and change.
Those lies we tell ourselves often stop us from being our best selves. Happy, confident, strong women. Women with goals, who believe they can overcome obstacles and achieve their dreams. Who don’t ever see the box. Women who don’t need to put others down to reach for their stars. Who accept themselves for who they are, warts, weight, and all and still know that they are worthy and beautiful. Women who know they deserve respect and don’t accept anything less.
I guess Chloe summed this up nicely. Stop hurting people, especially yourself. They say that honesty pays a price. I think they’re right. Honesty comes at a cost, but the truth just might set you free to be who you were meant to be.
Do I consider myself a screaming feminist? No. I’m a mother and proud to wear the skin God gave me. I have nothing to prove, and I don’t get offended when people consider me less because of my gender…… from either sex. Because I know my truth.
I asked Chloe what she would say to her best friend if Nora asked her whether she liked her new dress or not, and Chloe didn’t. Chloe said, “I would tell her I love the color because I love all colors.” We’re doing something right if she instinctively knew some truths are better kept to ourselves to prevent hurt. Someday this girl will be President.
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